In our sermon on the gospel, race, and unity from Ephesians 2, we have 5 applications to walk in unity and fight for oneness in diversity. The second was to concern ourselves with the stories of people who are different than us.
A friend of mine has built a close relationship with a Native American brother in Christ. They have studied God's word together, prayed together, and done much life-on-life discipleship together. One year, he invited his friend over for Thanksgiving Dinner as a way to be hospitable. As a lot of people in America do, his family was getting together around food, fellowship, and football, and he wanted his Native American brother to feel welcomed at his table. But his friend wasn't quick to receive the invitation. To his surprise he wasn't interested in celebrating Thanksgiving at all. His brother began to share with him that Thanksgiving was actually a day of mourning for Native American people. It was not something to be celebrated, but lamented. They began to talk together about how his brother's native ancestors were stripped of their land by colonizers and how his family had raised him telling stories of the hardships of his people. So in his mind Thanksgiving was a sensitive holiday. My friend was impacted in a major way by hearing this perspective. It was something he never thought about. In his experience everyone celebrated Thanksgiving. Before this conversation, he hadn't imagined someone choosing not to participate. But after the conversation, he not only considered the reality that others see it differently than him, he also gathered his family together and coached them on being sensitive to the cultural differences of their friend. They ended up enjoying the dinner together after all, and the Native brother blessed his entire family by sharing his story and testimony of salvation.
I share this as an example of how listening to the stories of people creates compassion and empathy in our hearts. As we strive to make disciples cross culturally and live out unity in ethnic diversity, (Ephesians 2:11-22) we must learn how to consider each other's experiences. We must be aware of how cultural backgrounds and personal narratives shape our lenses to see the world. If we don't choose to be aware of the different realities within ethnic and cultural diversity, we will continually alienate, offend, and be insensitive towards one another. Consider 1 Corinthians 8 & 9. Paul is addressing a conflict between Jews in Gentiles in the local church over what foods were permissible to eat. The cultural background of gentiles was largely influenced by the worship of idols. So meats that were associated with idol worship were a major stumbling block for them, even though they were now in Christ free to eat whatever they wanted. In other words, their past experiences were shaping their current views. Paul argues the importance of empathizing with each other. With the background "stories" of the gentiles in mind, Paul desiring unity with people who see the issue differently than himself says.
"Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble." 1 Corinthians 8:13
Because he has concerned himself with the gentile story, he has compassion to not look past his brothers feelings and experiences. Paul is calling them to care more about their brothers and sisters than views on food. In chapter 9, he even says he will personally be inconvenienced, culturally adapting himself, in order to win as many people as possible with the gospel. To the Jews he would become Jewish. To those outside the law, as one outside of the law. To the weak he would become weak. He would do whatever he had to do to consider the background and context of each person with compassion, that by all means he might save some. (Emphasis mine) (1 Corinthians 9:22)
Here's what this means for us. We won't truly have gospel unity and cross cultural disciple making until we learn to empathize with the realities of different people, choosing to learn why they see things the way they do. When an unarmed black man is killed by a police officer, black experience in America will view that very differently than white experience. When people are discussing immigration policies, someone who's family had to flee persecution in their homeland to come to America will have a very different view than someone who's family hasn't. When someone has been made to feel guilty over the sins of their ancestors, a conversation about race and racism will hit them differently. So, instead of becoming outraged over how people think and act the way they do over cultural events, we should take the time to step into their narratives and ask why they see it the way that way. When we have that person's story in our hearts and their faces in our minds, we will be surprised at how much better we understand their actions and views. We may never see it from their perspective, but we will be much quicker to offer love and patience instead of hostility and dismissiveness.
- Have a conversation with someone from a different ethnic and cultural background. Over coffee or a meal, ask them what it's like to be them and come from where they come from. (James 1:19-21)
- Listen more than you talk. (Proverbs 18:2) Often times we can't learn other peoples perspectives because we are too busy trying to win arguments instead of learning. During this conversation, take the humble approach of being a listener first. Once you have listened and empathized, it's biblical and right to offer truth and try to arrive at what God's word has to say about the issue. (Ephesians 4:15-16)
- You don't have to apologize for your experiences or even change your viewpoint on things. But pray asking God for empathy to consider the story you hear the next time a culturally divisive issue arises. (Romans 12:15)
Stories in Discipleship with Bryan Terry
in the latest episode of the Stories in Discipleship podcasts, I chat with Bryan Terry of Fegenbush Campus. Bryan is a long time member of Highview, but a newfound fire through discipleship is impacting his mission in the church. Listen here.
https://www.highview.org/discipleship/blog/734/stories-in-discipleship-bryan-terry